I have two things on my mind:
#1) Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice
#2) “Like we never loved at all” a song by Faith Hill and Tim McGraw
For the New Year, I would like to have both of these: A Mr. Darcy, and a recording of that song.
Is that too much to ask?
*A more serious outlook on the New Year is sure to come soon.
12.31.2005
12.25.2005
It's Christmas
It’s Dec. 25th. Like many people, this day for me has been one full of family, friends, fun, and of course, food. My family attended their church this morning, which was very nice. We then came home and had our small family Christmas as we watched “White Christmas” and opened presents. Then, we loaded the car and headed to my Grandma Shirley and Papa’s for family Christmas with my mom’s side. It was great. My Grandmother is one of the best cooks I have ever met, and my mom’s side of the family is very fun to be around and very easy going, which suits me like a glove.
As busy as this day has been, it has also been a day full of reflection. This morning I thought of my dear friends who live in my beloved little town of Stillwater, Ok. I could scarcely compose myself in light of my love for these friends and my great desire to be with them. Though my body is present in one place, my spirit is most assuredly in two. My heart has been broken once before, but moving from these friends has broken my heart in a way that I am uncertain can ever be completely healed. I pray that the Lord will bring us back together someday soon, but I am comforted to know that time cannot shake our bond that is founded in Christ Jesus.
My thoughts have also been reflecting on the past year and the events that have unfolded to make it a most exciting and challenging time, filled with learning and growth. The Lord has taught me things that I pray will forever be apparent and will never forget. He has illustrated to me, through two amazing friends that He loves me as His Bride and His grace is sufficient for all of my needs. He has shown me that my plans will always fail, but His will for my life is secure and He is guiding and directing all of my ways. He has shown me through His Word to acknowledge Him in all my ways, and He will make my path straight. I have learned that I will always fail. I will never be good enough. My ways will never measure up. However, because of my inadequacy, my life will forever be a testament of His Grace. Every good thing that comes about in my life will be directed to Him, and His Glory will be made known.
I have come to realize that friendship and family are by far the most treasured earthly joys that the Lord has given me. Everyday I am reminded of the immense value of these precious jewels. Each person in my life has been instrumental in molding me into the person that I am, and I pray that as iron sharpens iron, together, we make each other stronger. I have learned the value of true friendship. The friendships that withstand hardships and remain strong and true are those that I value with immense fervor. I have also learned that these friendships are scarce.
The final thing that I have reflected upon as the day is ending is the sacrifice that our Lord made when He came to earth. When He stepped out of Heaven, He left the most longed for and desired place that anyone can ever imagine to come to a sin soaked land where certain death was His future. He certainly did give up everything good and perfect for the Glory of the Father. My life is certain to bring the Lord Glory, because that is why He created us all, but I pray that my life will be used to make His name Great and that I will make it an effort to bring Him Glory with each new day.
God Bless and Merry Christmas!
As busy as this day has been, it has also been a day full of reflection. This morning I thought of my dear friends who live in my beloved little town of Stillwater, Ok. I could scarcely compose myself in light of my love for these friends and my great desire to be with them. Though my body is present in one place, my spirit is most assuredly in two. My heart has been broken once before, but moving from these friends has broken my heart in a way that I am uncertain can ever be completely healed. I pray that the Lord will bring us back together someday soon, but I am comforted to know that time cannot shake our bond that is founded in Christ Jesus.
My thoughts have also been reflecting on the past year and the events that have unfolded to make it a most exciting and challenging time, filled with learning and growth. The Lord has taught me things that I pray will forever be apparent and will never forget. He has illustrated to me, through two amazing friends that He loves me as His Bride and His grace is sufficient for all of my needs. He has shown me that my plans will always fail, but His will for my life is secure and He is guiding and directing all of my ways. He has shown me through His Word to acknowledge Him in all my ways, and He will make my path straight. I have learned that I will always fail. I will never be good enough. My ways will never measure up. However, because of my inadequacy, my life will forever be a testament of His Grace. Every good thing that comes about in my life will be directed to Him, and His Glory will be made known.
I have come to realize that friendship and family are by far the most treasured earthly joys that the Lord has given me. Everyday I am reminded of the immense value of these precious jewels. Each person in my life has been instrumental in molding me into the person that I am, and I pray that as iron sharpens iron, together, we make each other stronger. I have learned the value of true friendship. The friendships that withstand hardships and remain strong and true are those that I value with immense fervor. I have also learned that these friendships are scarce.
The final thing that I have reflected upon as the day is ending is the sacrifice that our Lord made when He came to earth. When He stepped out of Heaven, He left the most longed for and desired place that anyone can ever imagine to come to a sin soaked land where certain death was His future. He certainly did give up everything good and perfect for the Glory of the Father. My life is certain to bring the Lord Glory, because that is why He created us all, but I pray that my life will be used to make His name Great and that I will make it an effort to bring Him Glory with each new day.
God Bless and Merry Christmas!
12.02.2005
post # 2, i thought i was due
well, i don't have a lot to say, but figured i should probably post again. i keep feeling like i might write about the whole job thing, but i've decided that if you want to know badly enough, we can go have coffee and discuss it. i just can't write about it or even talk about it over the phone. i'm sorry if that sounds cold hearted or rude...but it's just one of those things i guess. it's weird for me to not want to share things or get them out. i'm usually an open book. oh well.
anyway, on top of that, i also have to report that i have a disease. it's not a rare disease. in fact, it is rather common among most of the population. it is generally referred to as the "i-can't-get-over-myself-and-all-i-think-about-is-me" syndrome. you know the one. the narcisistic, naval-watching disease that makes life for yourself and those around you completely miserable. sometimes i wonder how i do it. how do i manage to think about myself so much that i can't even go for 30 seconds without something selfish running though my mind? the low self-esteem, not good enough, feeling of inadequacy attitude that generally overides my thoughts is purely selfishness. i hate it. i hate it that i know the answers. i know the reasons why i shouldn't feel this way, and yet i still do. desperately i cry out to the Lord and beg for mercy. i beg for Him to remove me from myself long enough to see how truly great and majestic He is. to be forced to look away from my sinful self pity, and marvel at His greatness. what a wretched sinner i am. praise the Lord for His grace and mercy! praise Him for His lovingkindness and steadfast love! praise Him for He will not let me go!
"O Love that will not let me go, I rest my weary soul in thee!"
anyway, on top of that, i also have to report that i have a disease. it's not a rare disease. in fact, it is rather common among most of the population. it is generally referred to as the "i-can't-get-over-myself-and-all-i-think-about-is-me" syndrome. you know the one. the narcisistic, naval-watching disease that makes life for yourself and those around you completely miserable. sometimes i wonder how i do it. how do i manage to think about myself so much that i can't even go for 30 seconds without something selfish running though my mind? the low self-esteem, not good enough, feeling of inadequacy attitude that generally overides my thoughts is purely selfishness. i hate it. i hate it that i know the answers. i know the reasons why i shouldn't feel this way, and yet i still do. desperately i cry out to the Lord and beg for mercy. i beg for Him to remove me from myself long enough to see how truly great and majestic He is. to be forced to look away from my sinful self pity, and marvel at His greatness. what a wretched sinner i am. praise the Lord for His grace and mercy! praise Him for His lovingkindness and steadfast love! praise Him for He will not let me go!
"O Love that will not let me go, I rest my weary soul in thee!"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
