There's been this "thing" that the Lord has been teaching me over the past couple of weeks and I felt like I needed to get it into words. It has made me cry a few times, so I'm un-lovingly calling it a "thing" and avoiding more amorous terms that I usually associate with something I'm learning.
Last week I had a great breakfast date with my husband. I snapped this photo of him as he was telling me a story from his time in Iraq because I didn't want to forget how special it was that I was the only human with whom he was sharing these intimate stories.
I feel like in general, men are usually more private with their thoughts than women. There are plenty of exceptions to that rule, but we fit into that general statement.
So, I realized at that date with my husband that I was having an intimate moment with a son. And I know that his mom would love to have the attention that I freely get from her son, and ironically it kinda hurt. Of course, I feel so special and blessed to have a godly man who I want to have these moments with, but when thinking about my sons having these moments with someone else someday...yikes! It hurts.
It hurts to think that one day my sons are going to have a deeper connection with a different woman in their lives. But, it's okay because it is what I want for them and it is good.
It hurts to think that one day my boys will find a love that stirs them up to take action, leave me, and pursue her. But, it's okay because it is what I want for them and it is good.
But most importantly, it hurts to think I've already wasted a lot of time being distracted by day to day life, and missed out on spending quality with them now. This is not okay because it isn't what I want for them and it is not good!
My boys are only 3 and almost 2 and yet I feel like the Lord is already teaching me about letting them go. He's teaching me that I don't have that long with them and that my time needs to be focused.
He is also teaching me that my husband is who He gave to me and I need to be sure that he is still my first love. I need to be sure to love my husband in the same way that I want my sons to be loved one day. And even though it hurts, I really do want them to leave me and become the godly men that they have the potential of being.
Raising boys to become godly men has been a passion of my husband's since he was 18 and something that I long for as well, but I'm starting to learn a little that this process is not just about teaching them...we are learning so much along the way.So, my encouragement mommas. We don't have that much time. Love your boys, play with them, get off of your phones, talk with them, teach them, be patient with them and pray for them.
And as importantly: Love your husbands. Support them, encourage them, pray for them, make time for them, talk to them. You might be the only person they open up to and they need you as much as your son will need his wife one day.And pray for that special lady who steals your son's heart one day. Pray that she is growing in grace and knowledge of the Lord. And pray for the relationship between you and her to be healthy and loving.
There will be many trials as we continue to raise our sons. I'm just praying that as the Lord teaches me these things along the way that I will embrace them, learn from them and strive to honor Him in the midst of them.
I hope this gives you some encouragement that even in the difficult times, love all of the guys that God has put into your life.
